The Philosophy of Gift Giving

Given that Christmas has come and gone, along with Valentine's Day, and I endured retail hell on both those occasions, I've been thinking a lot about what makes the perfect gift. A good gift says something about the giver as well as the recipient, as does a bad or selfish one!

My main concern when buying a gift for someone, whether it's my lovely fiancée, my closest friends, my family or even a distant relative is it has to be something that they would like and appreciate. Of course, the difficulty is that you know what things they like based on things they already have...so, how to avoid getting them something they already have?

1. Buy them something they wouldn't normally think to get themselves. My mother, for example, likes dark chocolate and nice tea, but tends to buy both inexpensively for everyday use. For mum, getting a small box of 'posh' chocolates with unusual flavours, or a local specialty blend of good loose leaf tea goes down well, and I know it will be something she likes and will use. (a tip on 'consumable' gifts: since they eventually get used up and/or eaten, you can buy similar products in the future, and you'll know they like them, without worrying that they have that already!) Or her boyfriend - he's into his technology and gadgets, so previous Christmas gifts have included touchscreen compatible gloves.
2. Make them something unique. Money isn't always available, and if they don't appreciate a handmade gift from you, they probably don't deserve a gift from you at all. Play to your strengths. You could make them an artistic masterpiece, a collage of their favourite things, a well-thought poem or story, a playlist or mixtape, a little sculpture, knitware...the possibilities are endless. Free yourself from the 'macaroni and glue' idea of 'homemade' gifts, and you might come up with the best thing they ever receive! (I know the best gift I got this Christmas was a beautiful playlist of love songs chosen by my fiancée...I can listen to it anywhere and it never fails to brighten up my day, because all I can think about is her!)
3. Work within your means. Don't get something expensive for people you barely know if you can't afford to (hell, even if you can - it sets up the wrong impression about you to those people). It helps you after Christmas not to get those January blues, and it stops the recipient from getting that awkward 'what if my gift isn't as good?' moments. Gifts are special because they come from you, not because they had a big price tag. Again, if people don't appreciate that, they probably aren't worth the gift you're giving them.
4. Your gift should make them feel special. It should be a gift that you couldn't just give to anyone in the room, because only they would fully appreciate it. It should also be a bit of an indulgence, whether it's a book they always wanted to read but could never find, a food based treat, a perfume that seemed a little too extravagant to buy for themselves...it's about making them feel worth the time, effort and money.

Okay, that's all the positives. I do have some negatives of things I see every day/have experienced myself:

1. Don't assume that because the recipient is 'x' they will appreciate 'stereotype associated with x'. I have been asked what chocolate guys like, what chocolate is best for girls, what chocolates I would buy for a gay couple...it really irritates me! And I'm sure other retail workers over just about every area have similar questions. Just don't. I live with a gal who loves just about all spy/thriller/horror genres, plays first person shooter games...why would you give her something stereotypically girly? Know your recipient.
2. Don't give people toiletries. We know what bodywash we like and where to buy it, and we aren't fooled by a 'giftset' box. (The exception to this - you get them the brand they want that is usually too expensive for 'everyday' use) This also goes for basic cosmetic items for females - you get me a moisturiser or foundation for any occasion, my estimation of you will go way down. It's simultaneously an insult (you're saying I looked bad?) and usually totally unusable for my skin type, complexion, skin sensitivities...trust us, we can buy our own makeup if we want to.
3. Giftcards are a double edged sword. It's slightly more personal than money, but it does reek of 'I have no idea what to get you'. Save for only the most desperate cases and hard to buy for people/people you don't know too well. Also be aware that stores love selling giftcards close to Christmas - it gets your money off you and becomes instant profit, without needing to actually give you a product or service in return. And they know that by limiting the person's spending options to their store, they will get another customer, who will likely spend over the amount of the giftcard to get the product they want, so it guarantees a sale and more money in the future for them.

And a little advice: if you are in a physical store, and a little out of your depth, ask around and pick the brains of the employees. I know I like to be asked interesting questions about the products I'm selling, if it results in a purchase the customer is happy with. Be polite, and try not to do it when you can clearly see that they are busy. It's not only basic human decency, but you will get better advice from it. And if you do leave everything to the last minute before a big holiday, more fool you, and you deserve the resulting headache.

Okay, that's all from me. Want to add to the advice, or agree/disagree with anything I said? Post a comment below!